I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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