he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
