your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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