I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you didnt know i had herpes?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
