third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
