Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
