i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
