Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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