Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
