If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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