I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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