Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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