Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
