I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
