I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You are a genius and a whore.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
