Yo dont text me then not text me
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
