What a fucking waste of an outfit
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
