i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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