I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
