I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
