There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
