There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I AM VODKA MAN
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
