I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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