walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Randomize