we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
