Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Randomize
