There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
