We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
