I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
