I want to have your abortion
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
