my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
