Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
