I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
