he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
