Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
