I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
