Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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