The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
we're so committed to being not committed
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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