The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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