also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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