why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
