Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
All the doctor said was why
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
