No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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