I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
