I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
