Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
