flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
