Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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