dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
