Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
