I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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