my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
