everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
